Since the 2015 PWC racing season is heating up I thought granting an ol’ Capt. Needlemyr request for guest column space on this site would be appropriate to remind everyone what we’re about, because clearly some out there have forgotten. Most of us are into serious personal water craft racing, and in case you hadn’t noticed, very few of us are into the “suffer fools” aspect of our sport. And, we don’t much care for a lot of what’s going on today, both in the racing aspects of the industry as well as across all eight regions. We have had it with the various marketing geniuses du jour, the carpet-bagging interlopers, the recalcitrant twerps and the instant water craft racing ‘experts trolling the Interweb, and we have really had it with the wannabe promoters and official-types who make excuses for mediocre performances and then wrap it all in mindless, touchy-feely, sanctioning body group-hug speak while suggesting there effort was special enough unto itself. So, with that said I ask you to read and understand the note of caution and disclaimer at the top and to never forget the immortal words of Ricky Bobby“I’m driving real fast, momma” 

Every once in a while da ol’ Captain thinks it’s an excellent idea to take a step back and take a look at our sport. It’s good for the mind, it creates controversy and dialog and it provides a moment of clarity for the few lost souls wandering around in the personal water craft wilderness, the ones who can’t seem to separate the real from the imagined, or the pipe dreams from what is truly important.

As much as I want to say that 2015 is a new season and things will be different, the stark reality is that it means more of the same, with only one (01) exception, for the personal water craft racing sport’s riders, sponsors and enthusiasts in this country. And, worse yet, unless there is real change, it means more of the same from the sports only recognized US sanctioning and governing body whose leadership and administration continues ‘functioning’ on the margins when it comes to what is best for the commercial aspects of the personal water craft racing sport and its participants on all levels.

Most of the confusion lies with the unfortunates who have managed to create their own very special fantasies about their place in the personal water craft racing circus. This is inherently sad, because learning to live in a world of disappointment must be a particularly tedious cross to bear, ya I digress…Sorry.

First things first, and that is that designing, engineering and building of high performance personal water craft is a costly and complicated endeavor. And to do it properly takes a huge investment in money, vision, creativity and an unwavering passion that makes other pursuits seem positively ordinary.

Note that there is nothing in the above paragraph about doing it just good enough to get by, or producing to the lowest common denominator, covering your ass, or any of the other pillars of standard operating procedure. The stellar machines of our day – and we are living in the golden age of power sports and personal water craft greatness in case you haven’t noticed – aren’t the product of it’s good enough. Instead these machines bristle with the very latest in affordable technology, passion, vision and the commitment of the men and women and the manufacturers who created them…. and for that we are all grateful.

Unfortunately, and in stark contrast to the industry, most (thankfully not all) of our personal water craft racing events and series promotions, (there is one series exception), are less than professional and do not rise to the high standards of today’s personal water craft and the vast majority qualified racing riders… I’ve said repeatedly, the sport of personal water craft racing isn’t for the faint of heart. And though it seems that there are legions of the less than professional event types, two-bit hacks and spineless weasels running around out there who add nothing of import to the discussion and who pump up their self-worth for reasons that remain a mystery to most… thankfully the real essence of the water craft racing sport remains unsullied.

Thankfully the real essence of the water craft racing sport remains unsullied.

In coming editions of this column this ol’ Captain is going to say what the brandishing hordes do not want me to say. It may be interesting to some, I am sure it will be annoying as Hell to others… until then the men in white coats are here with a cold beer and a ride back to da ship; you see, I am not allowed anywhere on shore after sunset.

Capt. Middlefinger Needlemyr